Grieving Styles
According to the work of Kenneth Doka, intuitive grieving and instrumental grieving are two distinct approaches to the mourning process, each reflecting different ways individuals cope with loss. These terms are often used in the context of grief theories, particularly in the work of grief researchers and counselors.
Intuitive Grieving: Intuitive grieving refers to a more emotionally expressive and introspective approach to mourning. Individuals who engage in intuitive grieving often rely on their emotions and feelings as a primary means of processing loss. This style involves openly expressing emotions such as sadness, anger, and sorrow. Those who intuitively grieve may seek comfort through sharing their feelings with others, participating in rituals or ceremonies, and allowing themselves to experience the natural ebb and flow of emotions. This style aligns with a more fluid and subjective understanding of grief, acknowledging that each person's journey is unique and deeply personal.
Instrumental Grieving: On the other hand, instrumental grieving is a more pragmatic and action-oriented approach to mourning. Individuals adopting this style may focus on practical tasks and problem-solving as a means of coping with loss. They channel their grief into activities such as organizing events, making arrangements, or taking charge of logistical responsibilities. Instrumental grievers often find solace in maintaining a sense of control over the external aspects of their lives during times of upheaval. This style resonates with a more structured and goal-oriented view of grief, where individuals actively engage in tasks to navigate through the challenges associated with loss.
It's important to note that these two grieving styles are not mutually exclusive, and individuals may incorporate elements of both intuitive and instrumental grieving in their unique processes. The recognition of these styles contributes to a more nuanced understanding of how people cope with loss, emphasizing the diversity of approaches to grief. Grief counselors often consider these styles when providing support, tailoring their interventions to align with the individual's preferred mode of grieving. Ultimately, whether intuitive or instrumental, the goal is to help individuals navigate their grief in a way that feels authentic and healing for them.